We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
