I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
