I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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