I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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