Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
