After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's just like the Real World with babies
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
