I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
