Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize