I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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