so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
