After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Of course I have a pirate flag
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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