how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
