More tranny stories later!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
