Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
