I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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