Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
