Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize