We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize