im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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