I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
