Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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