Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
