So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
