just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
