Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
