Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
