No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
