ya dads aren't the best wingmen
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
