dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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