Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
