Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
