ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
