Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize