Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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