Where is the hickey?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
