I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
