I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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