so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
