Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
