Cold hands, warm shart.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
