And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
