do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
