You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
