Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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