I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
