How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
