Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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