Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
