Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
