I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
