well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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