I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
