She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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