I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
