clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
