Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
