The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
