He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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