Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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